This has probably been the most unproductive summer for me art wise. I was planning for this to be the summer that was mentally dubbed my "improvement summer" since I wanted to focus on my art and become better and faster at drawing. Sadly, this was not the case. All motivation was dead, and when I tried to start on anything big, my mind would just shut down the moment I picked up a tablet pen or even a pencil. Drawing sketches was a challenge and all I wanted to do was just lay around. I guess getting more work hours over the summer contributed to it, but it could also be because of school from the stress of the Spring semester and taking those two online classes in the summer (which I passed with A's easily but dang it was a lot of work). I still sort of have stressful nightmares about school once in a while, like I wake up with my jaw clenched so tightly I have to take a long time of laying down to get it to function again. Doesn't help I'm lacking cartilage in my jaw (yay for random dislocations and obnoxiously loud jaw cracking when I eat).
I tried everything from reading many VERY helpful journals from other artists across the spectrum on how to get motivation back, and even talked with a few big artists to try and get my creative juices flowing. It sort of worked since I was now trying to put color into the few doodles I ever did, but even that felt like a chore. Also did some doodles with friends and for my head world, which felt like it helped out, but when I try to move onto bigger things my brain just farts to high heaven.
So now I'm starting my first semester of my senior year (started Monday but I've been busy with trying to motivate myself to get ahead in the readings and to buy a crap ton of books that I actually do need to get). I'm going to really try and do my best like I did for the summer classes. The spring semester was a MASSIVE wakeup call for me, and I want to do my best so that I don't have to keep wasting my money away, especially since the government had made college more expensive in the last few years and a few months ago I had to buy a new car *DEER FLASHBACKS*. So yep, can't afford to keep retaking classes and shizz since any summer/winter class I take comes out of my pocket. Parents pay what the loans don't cover, then I pay off the rest and any extra classes I take. My bank account hates me.
I'll continue to make journals since writing is just something that I love to do and never really lose motivation for anymore. I will continue to advertise for people who are really in need of help or are starting up commissions and need a bit of a signal boost. Pretty much the most active thing until the middle of December will be journals, since I really want to force myself to do school work and not get distracted by anything else. It seems I want to doodle more when I have important things to do (brain stop it). So no art until about December 15th when Winter Break begins and lasts for a month and a half.
AS FOR MY TO-DO LIST, I have quite a bit to do. Hopefully, if I have a really good semester, my motivation will be coming in full steam ahead and I will be able to draw a ton more without holding myself back. I know I'm improving, I just need to beat back that stupid nagging thought process of "you're not good enough so you should stop." Like, dude, I know I'm improving, slowly, but I don't suck at it. GOSH BRAIN SHUSH (oh god I'm going crazy). If I forgot a trade or a commission from one of you guys, tell me and then I'll update it. I need to start keeping track of this stuff because I've found out a few times in the past that I signed up for something to draw and totally forgot about it. xD
- First, I need to continue and finally force myself to finish part two of a flat colored full-body commission for of an outfit design for her character Astra.
- I also need to finish a shaded full-body monster design for 's character, Siyara. Got a neat idea it's just that MY BRAIN AND HAND NEED TO COOPERATE FOR ONCE. >:C
- Do a different commission for 's cousin of Godzilla rising out of the ocean (who I keep forgetting about because the commission keeps changing gfjdsk)
- Gotta remember to do an epic art trade with the fantabulous of a character from either folder: HERE or HERE
- Start and finish the 20k Kiriban for of their epic thunderbird/ice character . Full body and fully shaded, no BG.
- ALSO NOTE FOR DECEMBER I NEED TO DO CHRISTMAS PREZZIES FOR LOTS-O-PEEPS BECAUSE THEY GAVE ME SOME FABULOUS GIFT ARTS LAST YEAR. GOTTA SPOIL YA'LL IN RETURN.
- Finish the "Judgement" image for my RP buddy because she's amazing and has been RPing with me for about 8 years now AND NEEDS TONS OF LOVE HNNNNG.
- And while writing this list my brain just punched itself in the face and reminded me that once upon a time many years ago I did a request thinger in order to get myself better at drawing, and wanted something of two peeps. Tell me what you want me to doodle chicky. ALSO SHE'S AMAZING CHECK OUT HER TRADITIONAL ART YO'.
- Also finally finish my super secret project but the only real thing it needs now is some art. SOMEDAY I SHALL REVEAL IT but there's already a huge hint on select images~ dohohohohoho
I think that's everything? If I forgot to do a request for you back in ancient times I need a bit of a reminder. I have a terrible memory. Doesn't help that I FORGET to write myself notes to remind myself. Once I get a memory refresher I'll immediately remember everything. xD
NO ART UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF DECEMBER SINCE I WANT TO DO REALLY WELL THIS SEMESTER.
ALSO WISH ME LUCK AT SCHOOL I'MMA NEED IT BAD.